Let's Talk Anxiety
Let's talk ANXIETY.
What is it?
In our human expertise…thus far (ever changing) anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, and unease. Especially when it relates to an event or something with an uncertain outcome.
Anxiety is a natural response to stress. Not until it interferes with daily life does it become a “disorder”.
Imagine if this could be true… that our brain isn’t designed for happiness, rather… it’s designed to find problems and create solutions to keep us safe. If we know safety is the first need (in Maslow's hierarchy of needs chart) … could it make sense that anything outside of safety might challenge us?
Us humans are wired to create a reality with certainty, so some general unease around what’s uncertain… of course!
You know how this works.
Your drive home that usually takes 10 minutes, that you time perfectly every day, only to get hit with traffic making you late for picking up your kid…
Meeting new people for dinner…
Going to do something for the first time that you might not be good at…
Public speaking…
Singing, dancing, telling a story…
An interview for a new job…
A first date.
You get the idea.
This anxiety isn’t an alert to stop what you’re doing immediately… it could be a subtle push to do something we are all generally bad at… a push to… get uncomfortable.
Anxiety has some key components
Emotional: dread, apprehension, panic
Cognitive: Worry, fear of losing control, anticipation
Physical: Heart rate increase, muscle tension, sweating, restlessness, fatigue, brain disorientation
Behavioral: avoidance, trouble concentrating, irritability
If anxiety feels absolutely overwhelming and literally stops you in your tracks, that’s a time to get some help for how to navigate it. I’m not a doctor or a professional to speak on it at that level, but I imagine you probably know if it’s challenging enough to seek support. Trust yourself on that.
Here’s a few more thoughts…
When to push through anxiety
When its growth, NOT actual danger
When its fear/discomfort, NOT actual harm
When its predictable and familiar (the same things always giving you the same feeling)
When it holds you back from something you value (blocking purpose, connection, opportunity) it’s a cue for courage.
When it’s manageable with coping tools like breathing, grounding, or self-talk.
You can imagine the push through as a slow exposure… make it gradual, intentional, and give yourself time for long term growth.
When to listen to anxiety
When it’s persistent and overwhelming and doesn’t go away in time or with support
When it’s connected to trauma, harm, or danger
If it’s a signal of burn out, exhaustion, or disconnection from your needs
If you get panic attacks, disassociation, or shutdown
When it points to something unresolved or avoided
You can imagine the listening as a messenger, asking you to pause, heal, and create boundaries.
Ask yourself this…
1: Is this fear protecting me or limiting me?
2: Is the discomfort in service of something I care about?
3: If I push through, will I feel proud or depleted after?
4: What would compassion (not comfort) guide me towards?
Anxiety is real. It can be a tool to check in with ourselves, or it can be debilitating. It could require us to opt into discomfort, or it can also require us to stop and heal before we move forward.
It’s unique to each of us, only we can decide how we dance with this feeling.
My hope is that none of us let it stop us from growth and opportunity to get us closer to the things we value most in life and to what growth can look & feel like.
See ya out there,
Coach D.
